just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
