What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you will always have a special place in my vag
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
