her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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