so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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