you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
