You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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