i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
