It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
