was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
