Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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