Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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