That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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