You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize