I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
