just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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