Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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