Im at strip club and am horny
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize