I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
