She went from zero to smokin in five shots
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sext me about skeletons
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