Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
