I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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