I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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