She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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