I'm drive I can fine osifer
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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