I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
