so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
