Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
