I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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