Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
