The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
