Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
