In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
