I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
birth control should be required to get into college
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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