so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i think i just lost a toe
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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