Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
