im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
