After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
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You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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