the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up under a house in Key West
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
