I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
