I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
