Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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