Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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