I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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