chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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