A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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