i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
