SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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