Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
