some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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