I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
two words...techno handjob
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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