if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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