Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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