So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
