She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
