shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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