I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
