I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize