yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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