Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
