I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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