Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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