so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have aggressive nipples.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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