whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
