The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
